Moving Past Toxic Masculinity and ‘Mr. Nice Guy’ in the Trades: The Third Way to Lead

By Joe Pee1977 | FixItForYou Coaching

In the trades, we take pride in hard work, grit, and getting the job done. But there’s an undercurrent in our industry that’s been doing more harm than good — outdated leadership models shaped by toxic masculinity and the Mr. Nice Guy mindset.

At FixItForYou Coaching, I work with trades business owners who are ready to lead differently — not by domination, and not by avoiding conflict, but by embracing what I call The Third Way: a leadership style that’s assertive, respectful, and emotionally intelligent.

Let’s unpack what’s holding our industry back — and how we can move forward.

Toxic Masculinity in Construction: The “Tough Guy” Trap

Toxic masculinity shows up as aggression, emotional suppression, and dominance. On job sites, it can look like:

• Bullying and intimidation

• Risky behavior to prove toughness

• Fear of asking for help

• A culture where mental health struggles stay hidden

The result? Unsafe work environments, mental health crises, poor communication, and high turnover. I’ve seen crews unravel and owners burn out because they thought being a “real man” meant pushing harder instead of leading smarter.

Mr. Nice Guy: The Conflict-Avoider

At the other end of the spectrum is the Mr. Nice Guy — always trying to please, avoid conflict, and keep the peace. But this approach also backfires:

• Boundaries get blurred

• Accountability slips

• Safety rules go unenforced

• Resentment builds silently

Nice guys often end up stuck — overextended, under-respected, and unsure how to make real change in their business. They say yes too much, avoid hard conversations, and feel constantly drained.

The Third Way: Assertive, Respectful Leadership in the Trades

The trades don’t need more “tough guys” or pushovers. They need leaders who show strength with kindness — not weakness. The Third Way blends:

✅ Clear, direct communication
✅ Strong boundaries and accountability
✅ Empathy and emotional intelligence
✅ Respect for every team member

At FixItForYou Coaching, I teach trades leaders how to show up with presence, not pressure. To lead crews that respect them because they’re fair and firm — not because they yell the loudest.

Here’s how The Third Way plays out in real-world leadership:

• You hold safety standards high — and create a culture where workers can speak up without fear.

• You have tough conversations early — without guilt or passive-aggression.

• You set clear expectations — and back them up with support and follow-through.

• You model emotional control and self-awareness — instead of flying off the handle or shutting down.

This Isn’t Soft. It’s Smart.

This isn’t about going soft. It’s about going strategic. The Third Way reduces drama, improves team culture, and protects your business — all while making you a leader people want to follow.

In fact, most of the trades business owners I coach come to me because they’re stuck in one of these extremes. They’re either exhausted from playing the hero or frustrated because no one’s taking them seriously. Once they learn to lead from the middle — firm and fair — everything starts to shift.

Ready to ditch the extremes and lead with strength and clarity?
Let’s talk. Book a free discovery call at FixItForYouCoaching.com and start building a business that doesn’t burn you out.